Keeping It Reel

A Just Dessert for Chester

There's this scene in Stanley Kubrick's classic "A Clockwork Orange" where Malcolm McDowell's character participates in an innovative rehabilitation process while he's incarcerated.  They pry his eyelids open and force him to watch graphic images continuously so he can see the err of his ways.  After watching "Hard Candy", I'm convinced this is what pedophiles should have to watch after they're in custody.

"Hard Candy" is one of those no frills type movies.  No elaborate soundtrack, no huge cast.  It even has a "Miami Vice" start as it jumps right into the story.  We don't need to know the backstory of why Jeff's a pedophile or why "Hayley" is so bent on teaching him a lesson.  Fortunately, we get all that throughout the course of the movie anyway.

This is the kind of film that you could have seen easily playing as a stage play.  It's basically just the interaction of these two characters.  For the most part 95% of it takes place in one scene which is his house.  If you don't have the right actors for that type of screenplay, it won't work.  "Candy" pulls it off brilliantly.

D called it right when she said at one point that Hayley was messing with the guy's head.  Personally, I wish she really would have castrated him.  Everything that eventually happened to him, he deserved.  I just wish there were more Hayley's of the world to do jobs like this one.

My rating:  A-

The Dirty Secrets of the Secret Service

If there is one thing Michael Douglas can do it's make a good thriller.  He was the king of them back in the day with the classics of "Basic Instinct", "Fatal Attraction" and "Disclosure".  Who knew "Disclosure" would be a foreshadowing of his penchant for younger women? Not that it has anything to do with this movie. 

Anyway, "The Sentinel" gives us Michael Douglas as a diehard Secret Service Agent.  He's a legend in the service because he took a bullet for Reagan during his assassination attempt.  Funny...I don't remember seeing any agent at the scene who looked remotely like him.  But I guess if Clint Eastwood could play an agent who was on Kennedy's detail, why couldn't Douglas do this one?

The premise of the movie was just a bit too much for me to buy.  I can easily see the President having an affair and the Secret Service covering it up.  We all know it's happened.  However, how is the first lady going to have an affair with a Secret Service Agent and nobody know about it?  That's just too improbable.  Not to mention that what are the chances we would ever have a first lady the same caliber as Kim Bassinger? 

I know he's already established himself with his "24" role, but I still can't get over watching how far Keifer Sutherland has come as an actor.  Hard to believe this is the same cat that came from "Lost Boys".  Of course he also came from Donald Sutherland so I guess it should be expected.

As for Eva Longoria in her first movie role, not too shabby.  I was most impressed with the fact she didn't do the obvious and take a role that would showcase her sexuality that she's known for.  They also didn't give her that large of a part in this one so she wasn't given much a chance to screw it up even if she wanted to.

It's usually pretty hard to go wrong with a Douglas drama.  He's proved that again with this one.  Although the premise didn't seem very likely and there were a few plot holes, it was still fun to watch.

My rating:  B+

Ginger Escapes Gilligan's Island

Even if you never saw "Basic Instinct", you had undoubtedly heard what it was infamous for.  The movie was unfairly known just for a single camera shot when it also featured a pretty good performance from the reigning male victim of that era, Michael Douglas.  So why wait so long for a sequel?

To this day, I don't know of any other actress not in the porn industry that has gotten more mileage on the coat tails of their hoo-ha than Sharon Stone.  I think the reason she waited so long to make "Basic Instinct 2" was because she wanted to make sure she could milk as much as she could from other roles first.  Then it came down to the sole reason for making it was just to show that she could still in get shape for a sexy role at her age.

I don't remember if this was the case in the original, but Stone was so over-the-top in this one that it was beyond laughable.  Remember how whenever Ginger on "Gilligan's Island" wanted something, she'd put on that sexy, fake voice and act phonily beguiling?  That's how Stone played EVERY SINGLE scene in this movie.

Unlike it's predecessor, there were no good supporting actors to help this one out.  Stone pretty much had to carry it on her own.  I'm sure if she applied herself, she could have pulled it off.  However, it will take more than showing some flesh every other few minutes to make it happen.

They tried to pull off a "Fight Club" like twist at the end that was transparent from the beginning.  If not from the beginning then at least after the very first murder.  Stone gets props for showing she physically still has it at her age.  Unforutnately, after all these years, the acting still needs help.

My rating:  C-

Plain Trains and Triteville

I try to make it a habit that once I see a preview for a movie that looks interesting, I won't read too much information on it.  I shy away from reviews because A) I don't want to get any spoilers and B) I don't want to potentially bite their summation of it.  Instead, what I do is read the header of the review and that's usually enough to tell me what they thought of it.  This was one that didn't have very good headers but I still had to give it a shot.

Once again I seemed to pick a flick that had the makings of a winner on the surface but doesn't live up to expectations.  The one star that really drew me to "Derailed" was Clive Owen.  He did his thang in "Sin City" and straight rocked it.  He even kept me interested in "Closer" despite the fact that annoying Julia Roberts was in it.  And I still contend that he would have made a better James Bond than this blonde wanker they decided to get instead.  The jury's still out on that one though...we'll just have to see how the new Bond flick does and see if I was right.

Oh yeah, and Jennifer Aniston's here also.  The only problem I have with her is she seemed to do her best work when she was thicker.  Ever since she's gotten more trim and fit (which would have been right around the final three seasons of "Friends") it seems her work has fallen off a bit.  Her parts in "Friends" wasn't as good and her movie roles weren't very memorable.

Anyway, the problem with this joint is that it lives up to the saying "there aren't any new ideas in Hollywood".  You know right from the beginning that there's a con about to happen and it's painfully obvious that Jen's in on it.  Not because of the way she comes across, but because of the way it's set up.  Your typical "everything's too convenient" scenario.

There's a slight subplot with Clive's sick daughter that they never really develop.  Honestly, I don't know why they even included it.  She could have been just  a regular healthy daughter and it would have served the sorry excuse for a storyline just the same.  It was clear they added that for dramatic effect but it came across more like a blatant rip off of a "Panic Room" scene to me than anything.

And I don't mind that rappers are trying to broaden their horizons by getting into acting, but at least step outside the box a little bit.  Xzibit is here thugging it up as a stereotypical henchman and the RZA gives it his best shot as the typical ex-con turned mailroom guy.

The one gem in this mess is Giancarlo Esposito.  He seems to be gem in everything he's in...even if he does always seem to be playing law enforcement of some type.  I've been a fan ever since his turn as Dean Big Brother Almighty in "School Daze" so I always enjoy seeing him take any bit part and own it.

Again, here's another movie where the ending is pretty anti-climatic. Just when you think it's over, it's not really over.  Thanks to some blatant foreshadowing they do earlier, you clearly see the real ending coming.  The only problem was it couldn't come soon enough.

I hate to give yet another movie this, but they just keep asking for it...

My rating:  C-