Life in the Mind of a Modest Genius

DWIs (Driving While in Snow)

The official decision finally came down a little after 2pm.  They were going to be letting us go home early.  The office was closing down at 3pm.  A whole whopping hour before I was going to be getting off anyway.  This happens as we've been looking out the office windows all afternoon watching the weather conditions deteriorating rapidly.  I'm still thankful though.  I have friends who work in retail whose jobs don't know the meaning of closing due to inclement weather.

My drive home to Ames would normally take 40 minutes from door to door with optimal conditions.  I estimated this particular trip would probably total a hour and a half.  That was a conservative guess since I figured the road conditions would keep the speed down to 40 mph or less.  That's also allowing time for the unexpected accident that would slow things up even further.  I was just hoping that accident wasn't me.  My fellow co-worker Buff Daddy did offer to tow me out if he saw me along the side of the road since he was also headed to Ames.  Although I appreciated the offer, I did not want to be a casualty of the storm.

The thought briefly crossed my mind to stay in Des Moines instead of trying to brave that drive.  I did have a few choices of places to crash to avoid the blizzard.  I even had a change of clothes in the trunk.  I also had an extra charger so the iPhone wouldn't die.  However, the one thing I didn' thave was my lappy.  Staying in Des Moines would mean going a day without that.  That wasn't happening.

It's funny how a blizzard can have you reverting to your childhood so quickly.  There are exactly two times that you drive with absolute proper etiquette:  during driver's education and during  horrible weather.  Both my hands were locked at 10 and 2.  There was no looking cute with a lean and one hand on the wheel.  My seat was moved up at least two notches closer to the windshield than I normally have it.  I even had my eyeglasses on.  The only thing that wasn't driver's ed compliant was my music that I had blasting. But my Movie Goodness playlist on the Zune was like my co-pilot that helped keep me even more alert.

The going started off not all that bad on the highway in town.  Traffic was moving slowly, but the snow plows had done a decent job of clearing the roads so that you could still tell where the lanes were.  The snow that continued to come down was soft enough to melt on the windshield on contact.  It probably helped that the heater and defrost was on high so that it escalated the thawing process as I trudged thru to the interstate.  That first 10 miles or so had lulled me into a false sense of security.

By the time I hit the second Ankeny exit (putting me still a good 25+ miles from home), the wind picked up.  It had successfully created small drifts that completely covered the second lane of the 2-lane northbound highway.  The visibility decreased from three car lengths to one im the matter of seconds.  My phone happened to ring at that most inopportune moment.  I didn't even bother to see who it was.  I just touched 'Answer' and yelled "I'm driving!" then 'End call'.

I figured I was going to be in for a long drive with that type of adversity ahead of me.  It switched up on me though.  Typical for moody Iowa weather.  I must have just hit a patch of the worst of it as it let up just a little to allow more visibility.  The horrible part ended up lasting for about two songs (best way I could gauge it) but it seemed like an eternity.  At least I knew to be better prepared for the inconsistency with the driving conditions which allowed me to better pace the trip.  It still didn't make it any easier.

The one thing I had faith in the entire way was I was rolling on a brand new set of tires.  That's what stood out about the Dark Knight when I first got it.  They weren't the standard tires that normally come with a PT Cruiser.  These jokers were built to tackle adverse weather conditions and they did not disappoint.  Not once did the Dark Knight falter while traversing the frozen terrain.  The closer I inched to seeing those faint halogen streetlights that marked the first Ames exit, the more faith I had in the Dark Knight's ability to handle an Iowa winter.    

My estimate was off by 10 minutes.  It only took me 80 minutes instead of 90.  The important thing was that I got home in piece.  Cursing out the Iowa weather the entire way.  Remembering the whole time why I am so anxious to move.  And yet hoping that it gets even worse over night so that we can be informed that the office is closed tomorrow.  Yes...I do only want the snow when it's beneficial.  Other than that...go away.

Ride the Maverick

The weather report said it was supposed to be 56 degrees and partly sunny.  The weather report lied.  I guess they could consider themselves mostly right since the sun was out for a bout an hour during the day Saturday.  That could technically constitute "partly".  However, it certainly wasn't the good football game-watching weather I anticipated.  Still, when Uncle Johnny mentioned he was going to Kent's game at the University of Nebraska-Omaha, I jumped at the opportunity to finally go see my "little" cousin Kent play at the college level.

G and I got there minutes before Uncle Johnny arrived only to discover there were no tickets waiting for us.  Kent was supposed to have tickets at the 'will call' window', but the lady informed us they had been signed for and taken by someone else?  I'm hoping it was just an oversight since I decided at the last minute that I was going.  At any rate, big props to Uncle Johnny who graciously offered to buy tickets for us instead.  We didn't have to worry about the game being sold out either as there were plenty of available seats to choose from.

For this to be a D-2 game, it was chock full of entertainment for us.  It started early on in the game.  The UNO Mavericks had to punt in an early series and the Central Missouri Mules (yes...that is their actual team name) came with the rush.  It looked like dude was going to get tackled, but he shook off a couple of opponents like he was a runningback.  He managed to get off a great punt in the middle of traffic with no problem at all.  Seeing a punter shrug off a defender like that was just funny to me.

I couldn't believe how big some of them boys were for that to be a D-2 game.  Our seats were a few yards behind the Mules (that name still cracks me up) bench where we could see the players up close and personal.  Some of them cats had the build of NFL players.  They easily stood over 6'6" and looked like men among boys.  It made me wonder why the Mules didn't utilize their tight end a little more because he clearly had a match-up advantage everytime he lined up.

I'm still trying to figure out exactly what the stadium deejay was thinking with his song selection.  Football games are supposed to have music that gets you pumped up throughout the game.  How does "Let It Be" by the Beatles do that?  I was trying to find a lighter so I could wave it in the air.  At least one of the songs they played was a cut that cousin BT made.  It's just too bad they only played the first 30 seconds of it instead of letting it play thru.

G made the observation that all the players with small numbers were the ones making the big plays.  Such as the three picks that the Mavericks got off the Mules.  All coming from a defensive back with a single digit.  Or the longest runs of the days coming from runningbacks in single numbers.  G even managed to call out a couple of intended receivers before the quarterback would eventually hit them with a pass.  His football IQ is getting to be pretty good for a 9-year-old.  Despite my best efforts, it's clear that his favorite sport will be football instead of basketball.

UNO represented pretty good at home for a while there.  They were giving Central Missouri's sorry quarterback fits as they went into halftime with the score tied 14-14.  Then the Mules came to life and started scoring at will in the second half.  They only made matters worse for UNO when they took out their scrub quarterback and put in in their Vick clone.  If he had been in the from the beginning, the score would have been much worse than what the 49-31 tally.  It made me wonder if the Mules were just toying with UNO by having their real starting quarterback sit out until the fourth quarter.

So how did Kent do?  Well for the entire two plays that we saw him in, he did pretty good.  I thought he would start and play most of the game.  He hardly got any tick at all.  BT said it could be because he was a situational player.  I was trying to figure out what situation that might be.  Second half during light rain only?  Not that I have room to talk though.  It was giving me flashbacks to my high school varsity basketball days when I only played during the waning minutes of a game.  At least Kent was competing on a collegiate level.

We knew our time at the game had come to an end once the rain started really coming down in the fourth quarter.  We tried to stick it out as long as we could thinking that it would eventually let up.  Unfortunately, it never happened.  G and I were fairly equipped for the showers with our weather-resistant jackets, but Uncle Johnny and BT weren't.  We ultimately decided it wasn't worth it to brave the elements any longer as soon as the Mules put the Vick clone in and he ran off a 60+yard touchdown.  Not before I was able to secure enough photos for the latest photo album: UNO vs. Central Mizzou though. 

A Day 26 Sighting

I had posted this picture on Facebook with a very brief explanation of what it was.  It was done with the misunderstanding that most of my FB friends would already know who Day 26 is.  Turns out that most of them don't.  I bet Diddy would be delighted to know that.  Well in the process of trying to elaborate who and/or what it is, I also recalled that it had an interesting story that coincided with it.

I was sitting in the Fishbones restaurant enjoying my Pasta Orleans when I overheard two ladies at the table next to me having a conversation with a guy who was passing by.  One of them had mentioned to the guy that she thought he looked taller on television and asked what time their concert was.  That's when I looked up to see who she was talking about.  The guy definitely looked familiar and I figured out why.

At the time, I couldn't think of his name.  I just recognized the face and the goatee so I had been calling him "goatee dude" in my Facebook pic.  I confirmed later that his name is Will.  He's one of the five members from the group Day 26.  That's the group that was featured on Diddy's (Sean Puffy Combs, for those of you that don't know what a "Diddy" is) MTV show "Making the Band".  The bad thing is I actually watched both seasons (yes, there were two seasons featuring these guys) of the show and I STILL couldn't remember his name.

I did have my cell phone on me at the time but he was gone too soon before I had a chance to catch him.  However, I noticed that since he was passing thru the restaurant which was attached to the hotel where I was staying, there was probably a pretty good chance the group was staying there as well.  This was confirmed by the two ladies at the table sitting next to me.  It was further confirmed when I was using the hotel's business office (because remember, the lappy decided to stop working on that trip) and saw him walking thru the lobby.

I approached dude and asked him about their concert.  He said they had a gig with Trey Songz and somebody else whose name I can't remember at some spot just around the corner.  He couldn't remember the name though.  I take it his group must have been the headlining act because it was already pushing 7ish and there he was in the hotel.  You would have thought he'd be at the spot getting ready to go on stage.  You would have also thought he would have known the name of where they were performing.

I asked how far away it was and he said it was just a couple of blocks over.  He told me that you could look out the door and probably see the line for it.  A line?  Was it like that, really?  After I snapped a pic and he got on the elevator, I went outside to look for myself.  Now mind you, it was already nighttime in Detroit.  I wasn't going to be walking too far.  I just looked outside to see if I could see this line he mentioned.  Nothing.

The computer was already up and going anyway as I was pounding out my next post.  I figured I might as well check and see exactly what concert Will was talking about.  It turns out it was at some place called St. Andrews Hall in downtown Detroit.  As far as it being  "around the corner", it was actually closer to four blocks from where I was staying.

For a minute there, I considered going to the show.  It's not like I had anything better to do and it wasn't really that far away.  However, I started considering how feasible that would be.  There was no way I was walking that far in Detroit downtown at night by myself.  I could have driven there but with parking pretty much non-existent, I would still be just as far away once I parked the car.  Was it really worth all that to see a Day 26 show?  I think not.  I've seen both of their "Making the Band" seasons so I figured I was straight. 

There was also the issue of a ticket for the show.  I didn't have one.  I couldn't even find out anywhere online how much tickets were.  So what if I braved the perils of downtown Detroit only to get there and find out that they were sold out and I couldn't get in?  Or worse yet, what if they were charging too much?  That's when it dawned on me that Will should have offered me a complimentary ticket.  Yeah, I know we only had about a 30-second conversation...so what?  We were hotel-mates so that should account for something.  Instead, I enjoyed a nice quiet evening in Detroit spent watching movie channel-less cable.

Motor City Review

Thanks to the news that I would be staying in Detroit until Wednesday, I found myself with all kinds of time on my hands for all of Tuesday.  Even though I had never been to the Motown Historical Museum, I knew the tour couldn't take that long.  I would have to find other things too do to occupy my time.  Preferably things that were free.  That meant doing some sightseeing of the best (free) sites Detroit had to offer.

I found out the hard way that Detroit is not the easiest city to navigate.  It's downtown was full of short one-way streets, dead ends, awkward quick turns and construction.  Had it not been for the navigational system, I would have been lost in no time.  And that's not something you want to be in downtown Detroit.  Not with all the vagrants I saw wandering around.  Especially when there were so many closed businesses down there to harbor them.

My first stop was the Joe Louis Arena.  Contrary to what Mike would have liked, it had nothing to do with catching a Detroit Red Wings game.  I just wanted to see that huge fist that was close to the arena.  I expected that it would be sitting right outside of it in some type of plaza but it wasn't.  It was actually a few blocks away in the middle of a plaza isolated by the bustle of downtown traffic.  It was still pretty impressive seeing that in person even if it was rather tricky to get to it.  You basically had to cross 4 lanes of traffic then stand on the island where it was located while cars buzzed around you.  Easy enough for me, but I would be very leery about taking a child out to that location to get an up close look.

An added bonus was the Joe Louis statue that stood just inside the doors of the Cobo Convention Center.  It is a 24-food bronze sculpture of the Brown Bomber immortalized in his fighting stance.  The closer you get to it, the more realize how uncanny it is that it looks EXACTLY like Joe.  Just a few feet away from that is a bronzed glove which was THE glove that he used to knock out that German bum Max Schmelling.  It was truly a great tribute to the man who helped to break down barriers for the sport of boxing as well as racism in general.

I would have liked to go in the General Motors building and take a ride on their glass elevator that I have heard so much about.  However, I didn't know how accessible that would have been given the company's current financial state.  Not to mention that there was no convenient parking around.  Instead, I settled for a nice picture of a portion of the Detroit skyline that included that GM skyscraper. 

I was going to call it a day for that location until I happened to notice how close I was to the Detroit River.  The same river which separated the city from Canada.  I was able to catch a real nice panoramic photo of the Windsor, Canada skyline.  That's when I noticed another couple of interesting statues:  one of the founder of Detroit and another which was a memorial for the underground railroad.  Good thing I decided to take that walk of an extra 50 yards or so or I would have missed all of those free photo ops.

I'm certain there was more that I could have seen had I taken the time to do some quick research and hit up some more places.  However, I was satisfied with what I got accomplished in those few hours.  Besides, with parking being so expensive everywhere, I didn't want to keep pushing my luck.  I had enough pics to make up a pretty impressive photo album to commemorate my time in the Motor City.  You can see it for yourself in the album titled The Motor City Review.    Including pics fromthe Motown Historical Museum trip.  As usual, I've included comments on a few of them to provide more insight (or lack thereof, in some cases) into the photos.

The Motown Sound Visited

When my meeting ended earlier than expected on Monday, I was pretty geeked about being able to have some free time before my flight.  I would finally be able to visit the fabled (in my mind) Motown Museum.  That was my first stop before I returned to the hotel.  Then I get there and find out that the museum isn't open on Mondays.  It was good to be able to see the exterior up close and personal, but I wanted to see the interior as well.  Therefore, I was a little dejected.

Then I got the news that I would have to stay in Detroit thru Wednesday.  That would have been much better news if the city I was in was Orlando or Los Angeles; however, it wasn't that bad in this case either.  It meant that I would get to visit the museum afterall.  Needless to say, that was my first stop on my Motor City tour (one that I would do on my own, mind you) once I was up and ready for my day Tuesday.

I was greeted by a sign at the museum door that was a rather discouraging site.  No video and/or still photography was allowed inside the museum.  That means the one photo that I was longing to get would not happen:  my own personal pic of the inside of Studio A where several of those early Motown hits were recorded.  Although it was definitely disheartening, it was not entirely bad.  Afterall, I was still able to physically be inside the studio and that in itself was awe-inspiring.

I considered myself to be somewhat of a Motown buff, but there was things I learned on that tour of the museum that I never knew.  For instance, Motown was the main label, but Berry Gordy, Jr. had several other labels that produced hits as well.  He did this because during the days of the payola scandal, he refused to pay deejays for extra plays.  Since radio stations had the rule of only three plays per label per hour, he just created other labels and released songs under those. That guaranteed that hte Motown music would be constantly played throughout the day. 

There were also little things like the candy machine located just outside of Studio A.  It (along with everything inside of the Hitsville house) had been preserved just as it was back in the 1970s.  The Baby Ruth candy bars inside the machine were always located in the fourth slot from the right.  Regardless of what other candy was in the machine, Baby Ruth had to always be in that slot.  The reason being was because that was Stevie Wonder's favorite candy bar.

The highlight of the tour was easily being able to see and stand in Studio A.  I was standing in the very spot where David Ruffin stood when he recorded several of the Temptations early hits.  I got to see the control room where Berry Gordy, Jr. and other producers wore holes in the floor from tapping on it constantly from following the beats of the tracks.  I was smiling like a little kid from the moment I entered the studio just thinking about being in the same place where so many legends were made.

What was most interesting about the house was how down-to-earth it was.  It was definitely a modest home with no frills to it at all.  I'm sure that back in its day the neighborhood itself probably fit the same mold too.  Even if now it appears to be a little down-trodden, which better matches the current environment Detroit is in.  Nevertheless, that simple house held memories that one can only imagine and it felt good to finally be able to visit it.

Oh...Canada

Thanks to the lovely TSA folks at the airport, I found myself in need of replacing some essential toiletries once I got to Detroit.  It did dawn on me to stop some place before I got to the hotel; however, I didn't do it.  I just wanted to get there and get checked in then worry about it later.  Besides, I was a little hopeful that maybe the hotel would have some complimentary items I could use.  That was a bit of wishful thinking on my part and ended up being wrong.

The front desk lady informed me the nearest Wal-Mart was almost 20 miles away.  20 miles?  That just didn't sound right.  I know I was in downtown Detroit, but this is Wal-Mart we're talking about.  They're everywhere.  There had to be one closer than that.  I decided that I would see what the navigation system in the rental car would tell me instead of taking front desk lady's advice.  I was right.  There was one only 4.9 miles away.  I set the course and I was on my way.

Not even 5 minutes into my trip, I ran into a toll booth.  It seemed like a rather odd place to have a toll booth.  However, I had flown into Detroit so I don't know how many toll booths I may have missed had I drove here.  Maybe this was just one of them.  Plus, it was for an entrance to a tunnel so maybe the money was going for the upkeep of this Detroit-Windsor tunnel.  I paid my $4 toll and proceeded with my first trip thru an underground tunnel.

When I emerged, I immediately found myself in the thick of another gated stop.  The lines for this one were even longer than the bridge toll booth.  Why would they have a toll booth for both the entrance AND the exit of the tunnel?  That was strange.  That was the first time I've ever seen that.  Then as I sat there in line, I noticed the huge sign that was positioned several yards in front of the line I was sitting in:  Welcome to Canada.

What?! 

Panic started to set in.  I don't even have a passport!  I never had a need for one because I have never left the country.  Ever.  Wait...maybe I didn't need one.  I mean it is only Canada.  It doesn't really count as a foreign country, does it?  What if it does count and I DO need a passport and don't have one and they arrest me for illegal entry?  What if they run my driver's license and I have some warrant I don't even know about?

When my turn came to pull up to the window, I quickly noticed how these weren't your average toll booth operators.  In fact, they weren't at all.  The lady had on police garb complete with bulletproof vest and a side-arm.  The only thing that was missing was a giant "ATF" or "POLICE" across her chest and/or back.

I politely explained to her that I made a wrong turn and didn't mean to try to enter Canada.  She asked me if I saw the signs before I entered the toll booth and I answered honestly that I did not.  I was strictly relying on my navigational system.  She asked me the standard immigrational questions and informed me I still had to go to the immigration office to explain to them what happened in order to regain entry into the United States.

The folks in the immigration office were also understanding.  They gave me a temporary passport which would inform the border patrol police (I don't know if that's their official name, but that's what I'm calling them) on the other end that I did not intend to come here so I wouldn't have any problems.  I was starting to feel a little more at ease.  That was until I got to the border patrol guy and my temporary passport apparently wasn't good enough for him.

Dude was interrogating me to no end.  He asked me for my birth certificate a couple of times.  Who carries their birth certificate with them?  Especially after I already told you the first time I don't have it.  He wanted proof that I was a U.S. citizen and all I had was the valid drivers license.  I thought that would have been good enough.  Not so much.  He searched my vehicle up and down.  Even going thru my luggage.  After keeping me detained for a good twenty minutes, he finally let me go.  I was finally back on U.S. soil!

Once I was safely back at the hotel, I checked the navigational system again to to see how that could have happened.  The location it gave me for Wal-Mart was indeed an Ontario address.  I wasn't even paying attention.  I didn't even realize Detroit was THAT close to Canada.  I just wanted to get some shaving cream and I almost end up being an illegal immigrant!  At least I can now scratch off one of my goals of visiting a foreign country.  Even if it was only for a few minutes.  And even if it was only Canada.

The Atheneum

You can put everything I know about hotels in a soup bowl and still have plenty of room left over.  I just don't travel enough to have enough information on what hotels have the best accommodations and which ones to avoid.  That's why when it came time to book my trip to Detroit, I had to rely on the recommendation of another co-worker who had just been there a couple of weeks ago.  He's the one that suggested the Atheneum so I went with it. 

The name alone sounded pretty prestigious.  However, the rates for their rooms were so reasonable that I figured it couldn't possibly be that fancy.  Maybe they just came up with the moniker in an effort to mask the fact that it was just an average stay.  Well if that was the case then it was one heck of a charade they were putting on.

The room I had was amazing.  It reminded me of an Embassy Suites set-up with a little bit more class.  When you first enter, it's a mini-hallway that leads to the first room on the left which is a split level living room.  That's where there is a 42-inch flat panel plasma television against the wall for you to enjoy as you either sit at the office desk or on the plush couch.  Just below that television was a min-bar with the obligatory over-priced snacks (i.e., $4 for a regular-sized Snickers) to chose from.

The bedroom was a little further down the mini-hallway.  In there was a king-sized bed (to be fair, I did request that) with nightstands on either side and lamps on both.  A small boombox that doubled as a clock-radio sat on one of them.  At the foot of the bed was a leather bench positioned just perfectly to enjoy the 42-inch flat panel plasma that also hung from the wall in that room.  I purposely had both tvs turned on at the same time on the same station just so I could go from room to room at leisure.

The bathroom was the last stop at the end of the mini-hallway.  Although it only had one porcelain sink, the marble counter that it sat i was long and wide enough to accommodate a few more if they so chose.  There was more than enough space to spread out any and all toiletries you would need while you were getting ready.  The shower had one of those wide massaging shower heads where it somehow made the water feel better than a normal shower.  The only thing I couldn't understand is why there was so much space you had to clear before you actually entered and exited the shower.  That just seemed to be inviting more premises liability claims as I could see people claiming it was hazardous.

The one knock I did have on the place was their complimentary breakfast.  By now, I already know what to expect whenever I see the phrase "continental breakfast".  It's just a fancy way of saying "mini-muffins and orange juice".  Why even bother to put anything out if that's going to be the breakfast you offer?  I expected more from a place of this caliber.  A buffet along the lines of that which Embassy Suites offers would have been more apropos.

There was one other problem it had which was its location.  It was not very conveniently located for a nice a hotel as it was.  Unless you want to see a Detroit Tigers or Detroit Lions game.  The hotel was only a few blocks from both of those stadiums.  And I guess if you like gambling, you'd be straight too since there was a casino right across the street.  But if you need to replace some toiletries that the TSA guy confiscated due to their security violation, plan on making a bit of a hike.  And make sure you have your passport handy just in case things go south.

Leavin'...on a Jet Plane...

My trip to Detroit for work was supposed to only be a one night overnight trip.  That's why I waited until the last minute to pack.  Well...that and I just have a tendency to procrastinate.  Had I known what I was in store for later, I would have taken the time to not only pack in advance, but also to pack extra clothes just in case something unforeseen came up.  That's what I get for not properly planning ahead.

The thought process with the packing late is I figure there is no need to get to the Des Moines  International airport early.  It's not like it's ever busy.  Especially for a flight to Detroit on a Sunday morning.  I estimated that getting there with 45 minutes until the flight leaves would give me ample time.  Unfortunately, I didn't count on most of Fleur being shut down for a marathon that was going on.  Why would they hold a marathon on a Sunday??

Thanks to the inordinate amount of detours, I arrived at the airport just short of 30 minutes left before departure.  They weren't busy, but I didn't realize until I got there that they have a 30 minute policy.  Once it's past 30 minutes until take-off, you are not allowed to check in.  Even if you have carry-on luggage.  I was upset, but the one place I refuse t show out is the airport.  I'm not trying to get TSA any extra excuses to be suspicious.  Fortunately, I didn't have to.  The lady behind the counter was able to override the system and manually check me in.

I still ran into a problem with TSA when it came to my baggage anyway.  It seems that my lotion, toothpaste and shaving cream were all more than 2.5 ounces.  Had I checked the baggage, it wouldn't have mattered.  However, since it was carry-on, they weren't allowed on thanks to the wonderful new Homeland Security restrictions so I had to pitch them.  I'm still not understanding how they came to that arbitrary measurement.  Even the travel sizes only come as small as 3 to 4 ounces.  Is it really possible to make an explosive device with 4 ounces of shaving cream?

Despite the poor planning and luggage pitfalls, I still managed to get on my designated flight.  The only bad thing about the whole situation is I didn't get a chance to say goodbye to G right before I left.  He was supposed to be coming into the airport shortly after I checked in and I would give him a hug and kiss before I hit the security gate.  Thanks to my misjudging how much time everything would take, there wasn't enough time.  I had to practically sprint to the terminal to make the plane as it was.  At least I know better next time.  Next time, I will definitely get the packing done a couple of hours in advance instead of just one hour prior.  Yeah...that should give me enough time.

A Sunday in Kansas City - The Grand Finale

Of course I had to save the best for last.  After four entries elaborating on a extremely busy Sunday, it was finally time to get down to how the day (and a half) concluded.  I could not think of a better way to wrap things up than with a visit to Popoo and Grandma's house.  That's always a given and an even more logical choice in this particular instance.

We had already found out during afternoon service at church that Popoo did not  have to stay at the hospital which was great news.  It really didn't matter to me where I visited him though.  As much as I hate hospitals, I would have gladly went there to spend time with him.  However, you have to admit there is something significantly more satisfying about visiting loved ones in the comforts of  their home.

I was forewarned that I may be shocked when I saw Popoo if I hadn't seen him the past 60 days or so.  I couldn't remember how long it had been, but I still figured I'd be straight.  I was already aware that he was a little smaller than what I was accustomed to.  Plus, it wasn't that long ago that I last saw him, was it?  With my memory, I wasn't sure.

Popoo rounded the corner from the bedroom as we entered the front door.  He had on the trademark Popoo outfit of dress slacks with a so fresh and so clean white dress shirt.  Yes, he was a bit more frail than I last remembered.  That's when it hit me that the last time I had seen him in person was when I was down there with Elijah and Mariah last summer.  That was nearly a year ago.  Nevertheless, he still looked like Popoo and he still had that same glow about him that always made me glad I was there.

We all stopped by after church so it was a full house.  Since Auntie Ann was the one who took Popoo to the hospital, she had missed all of the priceless entertainment that had just transpired at Philadelphia Baptist just moments prior.  You know we are all more than willing to share with her the highlights of the program.  For some reason, the one part that everyone seemed to accentuate was a certain guest speaker.  Imagine that?

All of us had our own takes on Rev. Dude's "sermon".  It even helped to hear the different vantage points because some of us missed parts that others didn't hear.  That always inevitable with any stand-up routine.  However, as usual, Grandma summed it up best.  She had known Rev. Dude the longest and as she put it.."You never know what's gonna' come out of his mouth!"  See...now I already did a post just about him to avoid this and he done messed around and made me infiltrate another post with his madness.

Anyway, Dad and I wrapped up the trip by having breakfast at Popoo and Grandma's Monday morning before hitting the road.  No restaurant we could have picked could have come close to that home-cooked meal.  It was yet another opportunity to get in more quality time.  Every minute I can get makes me appreciate the fact even more that they are both still with us.  I feel sorry for those folks who still have their grandparents and don't have a real relationship with them.  They don't know what they're missing out on.

A Sunday in Kansas City, Part III

Finally, the post everyone has been waiting for.  Okay...maybe not everyone.  Just those folks who follow my FB updates and saw me remark about the hilarity that ensued Sunday at Popoo's church.  All because of one certain individual.  It started with just the outfit, but I had no idea it would evolve into so much more.  Some folks don't even know what started the whole thing so allow me to elaborate...

First off, let me say that my intentions were to do a post on the program itself that was taking place Sunday evening.  There was plenty to say about it even before the guest speaker appeared.  However, once things started rolling, I was left with no alternative but to dedicate an entire post to just him.  He just provided that much material.

 From the minute he emerged from the Pastor's office, things got off to an interesting start.  I had to look twice because I just knew I had to be seeing things.  I have seen all types of crossing jackets in my time, but I have NEVER seen a crossing robe.  The only thing he was missing was a huge patch on the back.  I couldn't wait for him to turn around to see if was going to have one and I just missed it.  No such luck.  That would have truly been the icing on the cake though.

I need to take a break here to provide a little more definition.  Some folks may not be in the know.  A crossing jacket is something closely associated with fraternities and sororities.  It is usually a windbreaker or similar material that has various paraphenalia of the organization on the jacket.  Things such as the name of the organization (of course), the date the person crossed (was initiated), nickname, etc.  Now imagine something similar on a pastor's robe.  Sure, it was on a much smaller scale, but still.  I thought I didn't have a picture of it, but luckily Dad caught a little. 

Anyway, Rev. Dude was called in as the guest speaker for the 44th Anniversary of Pastor Popoo and First Lady Grandma.  The theme of the evening was supposed to be "Chosen".  The contextual scripture was supposed to be Matthew 25:21 and I Peter 2: 4 - 9.  Honestly, I couldn't tell you if Rev. Dude at least started off with that theme.  All I remember is he veered WAY off the topic once he got warmed up.

Somehow, he started down the road of how God created man to be with a woman.  Not a man.  He must have stayed on that subject for a good ten to fifteen minutes at least.  Even went as far as to say that two males can't produce anything because they can rub and rub and rub up against each other all they want and they won't ever produce af amily.  I was in awe.  I'm sitting there next to my cousin Amanda tapping her saying "He did not just say that, did he?!"  But the moment I would ask that, he was already on to the next outrageous statement. 

He went on to say that God did not mean for man to be alone.  That's why He created a woman.  A woman, not another man.  Rev. Dude brought that point home by saying if he wasn't with his wife, he'd be with another.  While his wife was sitting just a few feet from him, mind you.  Because as he put it,  a man by himself is just a pitiful sight.  People...I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried.

By the time Rev. Dude was done, I didn't know whether to laugh, be shocked or what.  I wasn't the only one either.  You could tell from the looks of some of the other folks in attendance that they were just as bewildered.  I can only imagine what a regular sermon at his church must be like on Sunday.  Not sure how much of the Word you would actually get out of it, but you certainly would not leave without being entertained.