Life in the Mind of a Modest Genius

Par for the Course

All day long I have been inundated with the endless tweets about Tiger and his current situation.  Then there was the e-mails being passed around about their new Christmas card.  Not to mention countless other jokes that have surfaced.  His whole reckless driving and reckless straying to match have been played to death which is why I wasn't' going to say anything.  But then I started thinking about some things about th3 whole episode that just didn't sit right with me and I felt compelled to speak on it.

Well all know by now that Tiger cheated.  First and foremost, does it come as a big surprise to anyone?  This is one of the most famous professional athletes in the world.  He has more than endorsement deals thrown his way on a constant basis.  He is only human.  A human man. Not to say that it's not impossible to resist the urges, but we all know that athletes are renown for wandering.  Tiger's not exempt just because he is who he is.

The thing I don't get it is when you have that much money, you have the resources to be more discreet about your indiscretions.  Like the whole cell phone thing that got him into trouble.  He should have two cell phones:  one that the wife knows about and one that is for the jumpoffs.  You don't EVER give your real number to the jumpoffs.  Because there's always that slight chance that the wife will search your phone and want to know who those strange numbers belong to. 

That brings me to my next point:  the infamous call.  In case you haven't heard, there's audio circulating around of a voicemail message Tiger left one of the other women.  He's telling her to remove her name from the voicemail because his wife found the number on his phone.  WHY ARE YOU LEAVING A MESSAGE??  He should know that the chick would potentially keep it to use for later.  You're not supposed to leave a trail, Tiger!  Especially if he's not breaking her off some ends which it appears that he clearly wasn't.  For Tiger to be so intelligent, he sure didn't have much common sense.

My favorite part about the whole mess is how Tiger puts out a statement where he is essentially requesting privacy.  Sorry, dude, but you know it's not that simple.  When you're one of the most recognizable celebrities in the world, you don't have that luxury.  Maybe if you would have been more cordial with the media, this thing would not have been such a big deal and could have just blown over.  You think you would have learned that from hanging out with Michael Jordan all the time.  Now you're just going to have to suck it up and ride this rocky wave out.

Don't get it twisted thinking that I am taking sides on this one.  There's no Team Tiger and definitely no Team Elin for me.  She needs to recognize that she is where she is because she got a come up.  She used to be a nanny.  She knew what she was getting into and knows what comes with the territory.  If she was smart, she'd take a lesson from how Kobe's gold-digging wife handled a similar situation and keep on steppin'. 

The Rich Get Richer

My intentions were to use this post to go off on Ames High School blue chip recruit Harrison Barnes if and when his announcement today was not Iowa State.  Then I started having a change of heart.  It wasn't because I thought more about it and conceded North Carolina was a wise choice.  It's just because I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt.  Unlike some other cocky high schoolers that get egotistical during such a moment (i.e., Kobe Bryant back in the day), this kid came across very likable.  I couldn't in good conscience dog him out.  But he is still getting called out.

As soon as Harrison uttered the words "I am and will always be a Cyclone fan", it was obvious that ISU wasn't his selection.  Actually, even before that it was obvious.  I knew it from the moment he was talking about being enticed by the atmosphere on the campus because he "felt the passion they have for their game".  That certainly isn't Iowa State.  It would have been back in the day when they had a top 20 squad, but it hasn't been lately.  However, that's exactly why he SHOULD have chosen Iowa State.

Here's the thing...Barnes had the opportunity to make a name for himself AND for a program.  By going to Iowa State, he could have been a huge part in forging a contender.  His presence could have served as an excellent recruiting tool to bring other blue chips there.  He could have been a solid foundation.  It would have been just a matter of time before the Cyclones were not only back on top in the Big 12 but also a powerhouse in the country.  Don't laugh, because it has happened before on a few different occasions. 

Barnes had the chance to go to a program where he could define it.  Going to Iowa State and making them nationally relevant would have increased his own stock exponentially.  Instead, he ends up going to a place where the program is going to define him.  He's going to be just another cog in the Tarheel machine at North Carolina.  Just another example of the big name programs loading up on more talent to make the overall NCAA field less competitive.

I don't subscribe to the theory that he had to play for UNC to be on a bigger stage.  The kid is the #1 small forward recruit in the nation.  Some media outlets even have him pegged as the #1 recruit overall.  No matter where he went, he was going to get pub.  As a result, he would get the additional exposure he was looking for.  Then all he would have to worry about was making sure he could deliver on the court.

In the end, as nice as Barnes may be, he is really just another product of tody's impatient generation.  They are looking for that instant gratification.  Why invest the time and effort it would take to make a contender when you can go to a team that already is one?  In this era where so many kids are one and done, it wouldn't even take that long to help make a school competitive.  But there's no sense in even doing that when you can have all the championship pieces handed to you.  Where's the fun in actually working for it?

The truth is, Iowa State never stood a chance.  I'm not sure anyone else ever did.  The rumor is that Michael Jordan himself was at Chapel Hill to talk to Barnes when he came there for a visit.  How is anyone going to compete with that?  I suppose ISU could have had Fred Hoiberg speak with him but that's as close as they could have come.  Plus, few schools could afford to pay Barnes the money I'm sure he was looking for.  Yes...I said it.  Let's not be naive here.  UNC does have some of the best athletes that money can buy. 

Eye Candy

This time of year sees a unique phenomena that is atypical of this season more than any other.  Once it's time for Halloween and the costumes come out, there is one constant that always occurs:  you can always count on the sexy costumes making their appearance.  It's something that happens on guys and girls alike, but it's definitely more noticeable on the ladies.  So much so that it ignites conversation among folks about how much is too much?  Or in some cases, how little is too little?

I'm going to take a stance that I know is not going to endear me with many folks.  You all know me well enough by now to know that's no surprise.  My viewpoint is pretty straightforward:  I don't have a problem with the skimpy costumes.  It's not because I'm a pervert or anything demented like that.  It's just that I don't see the big deal for a few couple of different reasons...

First of all, if a woman decides she wants to dress up as a sexy nurse, cop, fireman or whatever then more power to her.  As long as she has the body to pull it off.  That's the key thing.  They're proud of the fact that they have a fit body and aren't ashamed to wear a costume that highlights that asset.  The body is a temple.  When it's sculpted properly, it is a gorgeous thing to see.  It basically brings you back to the basic concept that if you got it, flaunt it.

I'm not trying to be sexist by any means.  It's not about objectifying women at all because I strongly feel that the same thing applies to men.  You just don't hear as much of a big deal made about men dressing in skimpy costumes.  Only because it doesn't happen that often.  However, you can sure enough bet that if I had the body of a Greek Adonis-- and if I did the whole dress up thing for Halloween --I would go as one of the "300" cats in a second.  Anything that would accentuate the frame that I was so proud of.

Plus, let us not forget the most elementary fact when it comes to this issue:  the Biblical issue.  Yes, I went there.  Adam and Eve didn't even realize that they should be ashamed of being "naked" until the devil tempted them with that apple.  Until then, they recognized that their bodies were beautiful.  Now I am certainly not trying to endorse folks walking around nude.  I'm just saying that a beautiful body should be celebrated.

I'm sure someone out there is thinking about how I would feel about it if it was my daughter.  My daughter is 18 and technically an adult, free to make up her own mind.  Given that, would I have an issue with her being scantily clad for a costume?  HECK yeah I would.  But that's coming from the vantage point of a father and what I want for her.  Of course I wouldn't want her dressing like that.  However, it's not my daughter that we're talking about.  Yes, I know it is a bit hypocritical.  I'm also okay with that.

Bye Bye Black-face

So I'm watching the Iowa/Michigan game this past Saturday.  The only real reason was to see if it would be the one game where the defense finally wouldn't be able to bailout Stanzi.  That's when it happened.  Just like it always seems to during a football game where one of the teams has black as one of their school colors.  The cameras flashed on a couple of morons wearing all black-face.  Black-face.  In 2009.  I felt the urge to casually mention how stupid it was on my FB status and realized I need a post about it to fully explain why it incenses me so much.

One of my former classmates from Norwalk innocently indicated she didn't see a problem with it.  I don't fault her at all. I understand that there are some folks who grew up in Norwalk who weren't familiar with the atrocities that were committed historically that shape the conscience many of us brothas and sistas have today.  How could they?  It wasn't taught in our history classes there.  We didn't have Black History Mont then.  If students wanted to expand their palate to digest more diverse history, they would have to take it upon themselves to do so.  Much like I did once I got to Iowa State.

They wouldn't have known that black-face came about as a means to further humiliate and demean our people.  It was a way to lampoon our beautiful appearance by further likening us to creatures instead of human beings.  There is nothing redeeming about it.  AT.  ALL.  It is basically a slap in the face to every Black person when someone prances around in it now because it's a constant reminder of the racist connotations that are commonly associated with it.

I will never forget when we were in Middle School (most people know it as Junior High) and we got excused from class to watch the faculty take on the 8th grade boys basketball team.  The teachers felt the urge to come out in black-face in their feeble attempt at humor as the dunked on 7-foot goals.  The students and other teachers were all roaring with laughter.  I was the only one sitting there with my mouth agape as I was in awe at what I was seeing.  Even in only the 6th grade, I knew that was wrong.  If I did, you KNOW they did.

Unfortunately, it seems like there is somewhat of a resurgence of black-face as of late.  The most recent example is French Vogue magazine that had their "super"model Lara Stone (is she really that super if you've never heard of her?) pose in it.  Most of us don't like the French anyway and they don't like us.  Therefore, it shouldn't come as any surprise that they would do something that knew full well would be offensive to Black people.

Prior to that, there was the story of an Australian variety show where the contestants performed a Jackson Five song in black-face with Harry Connick, Jr. as one of the judges.  He rightly gave the group a zero score and even reprimanded the group for their actions right there on the show.  If I didn't already like Harry Connnick, Jr. before, I grew an entirely new found respect for him with that.  The Aussies got put in their place as they should have been, but it didn't change the fact that they also didn't see any problem with it.  Even though they later apologized for the skit.

My FB friend who was misinformed tried to use the comparison of a brotha in mime white-face and wondered why that was acceptable.  The only problem was it was a mime.  It's a known fact that part of the mime costume is to wear the white face paint.  It's no different than a football player wearing full pads.  It's what's required for the job and all nationalities do it.  It's not to wrongly impersonate a people, but rather to participate in an art form.  Huge difference.

That brings us back to the clueless fans wearing black-face at the games.  I don't buy that they are showing school spirit.  If the school's colors are black and gold then paint your face gold.  Paint it half and half if you have to.  Not black-face.  In this technology age, there's no reason for anyone to be so ignorant that they are not aware of how offensive that is.  They might as well have showed up to the stadium in a confederate flag while they were at it.  Do better, morons.

Carly vs. Miley

These two names probably don't mean a hill of beans to a lot of folks out there.  Especially those that don't have shorties and/or have never babysat for any.  However, if you have little ones running around somewhere then you undoubtedly know who both of these little girls are.  Our generation had Marcia Brady and our children's generation has Miley or Carly.

I had no idea who Hanna Montana was for the longest time.  I kept hearing the name but never knew who they were talking about.  Once I found out that it was Miley Cyrus and she was the daughter of the one-hit wonder Billy Ray Cyrus, I was even less interested.  That is until I found out that my oldest son had a crush on her (that he probably still won't admit).  That's when I decided to watch her show to see what all the fuss was about.  It was just as horrible as I thought it would be.

The premise of the "Hanna Montana" show is that Miley is an average girl who doubles as a superstar named Hanna Montana and supposedly only a handful of people know about it.  I can't figure out how nobody could know because Miley is a TERRIBLE actress.  She goes thru the whole show with the same "are you kidding me??" expression on her face.  She delivers every line the exact same way.  So with that being the case, at least she can sing, right?  Her dad is Billy Ray Cyrus.  That should answer the question for you.

Speaking of Billy Ray, he's the second biggest reason the show is so awful.  He should have just let his daughter have the spotlight and had someone play his role that could act.  He's worse than his daughter is.  At least she has somewhat of an excuse because she's young and can say she's still learning.  He hasn't had a hit since the the early 90s with "Achy Breaky Heart" so he's had PLENTY of time to get the acting thing right.  He actually makes the show worse and that's the last thing it needed since it was already horrendous as is.

Now I did have some knowledge of Carly prior to hearing about the iCarly phenomenon.  I immediately recognized Miranda Cosgrove from her role in the classic "School of Rock".  I just didn't realize she had her own show until I saw G getting into it.  I sat and watched an episode with him and was immediately impressed.  I was thinking it would be some childish show that appealed only to G's age group, but found myself laughing out loud on more than a couple of different occasions.

"iCarly" has the clever premise of Carly and her best friend operating their own viral website that makes them internet sensations while still living ordinary high school lives.  Or maybe it's junior high school?  At any rate, Carly's show doesn't have the problem of being bogged down with bad acting.  All of her peers genuinely act like kids their age do with the same type of quirks.  The one exception is her brother (who I think is her legal guardian?) who is probably too goofy for his own good.  Fortunately, the kid that plays him is pretty good at the physical comedy so it's a huge plus for the show.

The biggest difference between Carly Miranda and Miley is the most blatantly obvious: Miranda is the more wholesome of the two.  I have yet to hear and/or see any stories of Miranda dating a 20+ year-old pedophile while she is jut a teenager.  She's smart enough to not go posing on the internet in racy photos that have her scantily dressed.  OR posing with some VERY awkward pics with her and her dad getting creepily intimate with one another.  So if my sons did have to have their own Marcia Brady infatuation, I would much rather it be with the child star who is the least likely to inspire corruption.

O the Randomness

It still kills me how some people refuse to get all the way over to the side of the road (when there's nothing obstructing their path) when emergency vehicles come flying by.

If I pose a question to you on your status update on Facebook and you don't answer it, prepare to be un-friended.

Susan Atkins, one of the Manson murderers who killed actress Sharon Tate, finally died from cancer.  No "Pour Some for the Homies" entry for her.  That is definitely more of a "Good Riddance".  I hope she enjoys the lake.

Speaking of Tate, they FINALLY arrested director Roman Polanski for his rape of a 13-year-old girl over 30 years ago.  Better late than never I guess.  That's what he gets for going to Switzerland and thinking he'd be safe.

My question is why was he messing around with 13-year-old girls when he had somebody like Sharon Tate??

Phil Jackson stands like he's in immense pain. 

I'm really diggin' this Colorsplash app for the iPhone.  I thought I would be confined to only pics on the phone but turns out I can do it with any pic then send it anywhere I want.  I may have just found my new top favorite iPhone app.

I forgot I even had this photo of Dad and G. 

Exactly when did they start (and who did it) celebrating the graduation of every single grade?  They sure didn't have that when we were shorties.

But would you have wanted to have that then anyway?  Doesn't it cheapen the high school graduation experience when you've been doing it for every other grade on your way there?

I would have liked the Cowboys to lose the second game in their new home stadium just to be spiteful.  That and I don't care for Jerry Jones.  Something about him just rubs me the wrong way.

Brothas...unless you are Mr. T trying to hold on to the 80s, the mohawk looks stupid.  PLEASE let it go.  And you parents that are allowing your boys to get their hair cut like that thinking it's cute....think again.  That should be child abuse.

Note to Penn State fans:  the Darth Vader masks painted all white looks idiotic.  That's probably why you guys can't seem to beat Iowa.

Say what you want, but I'm still a fan of pleated pants.  I just like the way they look.

I've been looking forward to the MMS patch for the iPhone ever since I got it and now that I have it, I hardly even use it.  But at least it's there for when I want to though.

Isn't it pretty sad that Charlie Murphy has surpassed his brother Eddie as the funniest in the family? 

When the elevator opens, always wait a second to see if someone is going to be getting off before you go barging on.  That's just common courtesy.  Not to mention common sense.

'Nuff said.

The Top Ten Reasons to Hate Facebook

Hate is a pretty strong word, but I didn't want to use the the term "pet peeve" yet again.  That's exactly what this is though.  The top ten things that really irk me while I'm out there perusing Facebook.  It took me a while to come up with these because I had to first make sure I wasn't guilty of violating any of them myself.  You will find that several folks you know ARE habitual violators.  It could even be you.  Don't worry though...it's only Facebook. 

So in no particular order...

1.  Profile pic of just the shorties
There's nothing at all wrong with having the shorties in the picture with you.  That's extremely cool.  However, they need to be WITH you.  It's not their FB page.  It's yours.  I won't go as far as to say having just them in the pic is pimpin' out your shorties, but I'm just sayin'...

2.  Profile pic of just the pet
I could probably do a top 10 list on just profile pic taboos.  But for this one, just refer to the previous listing.  This one may actually be slightly worse.  It's almost like a cry for help.  Everyone seems to think that their pet is the best pet in the entire world.  Kinda' how we tend to think of our shorties now that I think about it.  Still a big no-no though

3.  Happy Birthday wishes
Who doesn't like to get a happy birthday wish on their birthday?  Except for Jehovah Witnesses, that is.  But the key thing is ON THEIR BIRTHDAY.  These folks kill me wishing folks happy birthday a day or two days before the actual day.  You know just like everyone else when the actual day is because you see the notification on the lower right.  You can wait.  It's not like you're not going to be online on that day because you KNOW you will be.  You can wait.

4.  Phrase repetition
I applaud those that update frequently in an effort to keep it fresh.  However, when every other update contains the same dang word and/or phrase it get a little annoying.  You're trying to be motivational.  We get it already.

5.  Status updates are quizzes only
We've all seen them.  That one friend who feels the need to display EVERY. SINGLE. QUIZ. RESULT.  This may be the very reason why I decided to stop doing quizzes out there.  That and the fact that 99% of them are idiotic and senseless.  Still, if you feel the need to post your quiz results that frequently, at least even it out and give us a real quick sentence of two of what you're up to.

6.  Speaking of sentences...brevity!
We don’t need a paragraph dissertation for your update.  Get a blog and do that mess out there. Here’s a clue…when you see the words “Read more” pop up next to your update, you’re doing too much.

7.  The infrequent arbitrary poster. 
They only log on to FB about once a month and when they do, their update is something way out in left field that makes no sense whatsoever.  And you can’t ask them what it  means because by the time you see it, they’ve logged off and you’ll have to wait another month to hear from them again.

8.  The friend collector
This is probably the closest one where I almost have no room to talk.  But having gone thru my friends list a few different times now, I have concluded that I do actually know close to 500 folks when you factor in networks from high school, Iowa State, frat, family and past jobs.  Some folks, on the other hand, have exorbitant friend lists just to have friends.  900+ people?  Come on…do you REALLY know 900+ people?

9.  The airing of dirty laundry
It is really not that serious.  You don’t call out your friends on FB.  Keep that business between you and that friend. Take it offline and get it resolved. The whole world don’t need to see/read you and a FB friend having it out. 

10.  Sideways pics
Fortunately, I have yet to see anyone have this problem with their profile pic.  Unfortunately, many folks run into it when they’re posting pics in their albums.  How hard is it to rotate the picture before posting it on FB?  Not only does FB give you the option to rotate it before you post it, but so does any viewing application that you're sending it from before you send it.

The Truth About the Howells

So I'm sitting there in the Family Room section of Incredible Pizza enjoying one of their cheap lunchtime buffets.  I walked in as a "Bewitched" episode was going off and one of my favorite old school sitcoms of all-time was just coming on:  "Gilligan's Island".  Now when I was a shortie, I was smart enough to realize that many (if not all) of the inventions they had on that island were near impossible with the limited resources they would have had available to them.  However, there was one thing that I never really thought of until just recently...

The Howells.

Have you ever really thought about why they were even on that three-hour cruise?  Dude was a millionaire.  He apparently owned a fairly successful corporation and possibly a few so he could have afforded a better boat with his own private cruise.  Why would he be "slumming" by hanging out with three common folks (of course I'm not counting Gilligan and the Skipper because they were considered the crew)? 

Here's my theory...they had to.

I would venture to say that Thurston was having financial problems that he didn't want to admit.  He couldn't afford to get their own boat so sharing that tiny boat with folks they didn't even know was his only choice.  He and the wife had to get away from all of the stresses he was experiencing from his failing business ventures.  He realized that by taking a cruise with three "common folks", they wouldn't be up on the financial sector news.  They wouldn't know that he was tanking so he could still continue to put on the airs as if he was still that millionaire big-shot.

That would also explain why he had all that cash on hand on the island.  Weren't you also wondering why they had what seemed like at least two suitcases filled with nothing but loot?  Well it turns out Thurston had liquidated much of his assets and was trying to keep as much loot with him as possible.  That way when the IRS came looking for his property to seize it, he would still have funds to live at least somewhat comfortably.

The fact that the  little boat happened to get shipwrecked was probably the best thing that could have happened to the Howells.  Now he was stuck on the island with folks who had no idea of the dire straits he was in.  There was no cable and internet back then so it's not like they could have been in the know regarding how poorly he was doing.  He was able to carry on on that island like he was still Howell the millionaire and thanks to all that cash-on-hand, he had the money to prove it.

Yes...I know...I apparently have entirely too much time on my hands.

Down with Krump

So I'm sitting here in the new/temp place with the roommate watching a show I would otherwise never have on:  "America's Best Dance Crew".  Don't get me wrong...I like dancing as much as the next person, I just don't think that show is very watchable.  They got lucky that first season and had those Jabberwockeez cats on there who were phenomenal, but other than that, the show is pretty vapid.  But I stayed tuned in to see if I was unfairly prejudging it when the credits roll reminded me of the raeson I don't like these type of shows in the first place:  the inevitable krumping that rears its ugly head.

I.  HATE.  KRUMPING.

To be fair, some of you may not even know what it is.  Consider yourselves lucky.  But let me give you a brief description so you'll know it next time you see it.  It's basically a style of dance where the "performer" jumps around like he's angry and hostile.  Or as Elijah describes it, "it looks like they're having a seizure".  Or the wikipedia definition which much nicely spells it out as "an urban street dance form characterized by free, expressive, and highly energetic moves involving the arms, head, legs, chest, and feet."

The reason why I can't stand it is that it has no style to it whatsoever.  Anyone can jump around angry and aggressive.  That requires no type of skill at all.  So to do that and then call it "dance" is insulting to the artform of dance.  Seriously, how can it be considered "dance" when all the person is doing is flailing their arms about and behaving as if someone just ticked them off?

Now I know some folks try to make the comparison to breakdancing.  They might say when that first came out, people clowned it too and claimed it wasn't real dancing.  The difference there being that whether you like it or not, you have to admit when you watch it, it at least looks artistic.  The performers move in ways so that their bodies are creating symmetry.  It very clearly requires discipline and practice to produce the routines you see.  

When I see krumping, it makes me think that its very beginnings evolved from someone who had no talent in dancing whatsoever.  They started jumping around violently, getting lucky and every now and then catching the right beat and then gave the "dance" a name.  It's really no different than a bunch of folks in a moshpit slamdancing.  Pretty much the same concept. 

Fortunately, I haven't seen it around for a while.  I hope that means it is slowly dying out and people will go back to doing dances that can still be expressive while at least looking entertaining.  Then again, I haven't been watching many movies and/or shows that call for dance routines so maybe I've just been lucky to miss that it's still around.  Please don't let that be the case.  If I don't see any more krumping again for the rest of my life, it would be too soon.

Lollipop

Okay...is it just me or does anyone else find this commercial a little disturbing?

Did you catch it all the first time?  It's pretty easy to spot because it's noticed in the first few seconds of the commercial and that's all you really need to see...

1. The song "Lollipop" is already associated with someing in particular
2. The guys are in construction worker type gear
3. The first two guys appear as though they are just finished getting dressed
4. And this is the overall dead giveaway...the second guy who appears comes into the shot from below the waist of the other!

How did Dell get this commercial past the censors??